Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
