So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
