i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
