ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I checked into jail on foursquare
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
