UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
