We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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