HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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