Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
