1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
look no pants
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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