just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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