weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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