Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
