Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
