Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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