He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
