Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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