somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
