i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
