Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
