In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
