Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
