ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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