In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
