I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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