is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My pussy is not your playground.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
