Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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