My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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