You're my little dorito
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
