I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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