i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize