I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How does it feel to date your dad?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
