he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
