didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
