But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize