I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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