this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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