hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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