so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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