I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize