that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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