My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
