Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
