singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
