So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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