I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
