i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
