i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
