You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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