hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
