Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
