I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize