Dual....:-)
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
