i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
