Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
