My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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