Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
