Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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