3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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