she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
