That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
