Your mouth is God's brothel.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize
