He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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